Don’t Take it Personally. It’s Not About You

The world we live in seems highly reactive these days. I’ve even heard the term “outrage society” because it truly seems that a pretty solid segment of the population is just laying in wait to be offended by “something.”

Our world is a very uncertain place so, to some degree, I understand people’s harsh reactions. I am not sure if the stresses of life are worse than ever, or if we just see it more thanks to social media. This morning I spent a brief period of time scrolling through the news on Facebook and saw at least three online conflicts on things ranging from poor grammar habits to the perceived laziness of “today’s youth.”

It honestly made me sad. So I logged off and sat with these thoughts and feelings.

As I reflected on what I had just witnessed, one of the many things that came to mind were the words of The Four Agreements. Number two, to be exact.

“Don’t Take Things Personally. Nothing others do is about you. What they say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dreams. When you are immune to the words and opinions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.”

Their harsh words, opinions, or actions are all about them.

I can assure you that no one is getting out of bed today with the intention of hurting or offending me. No one sets out into their day saying, “I think I’ll piss Valarie off today.”

How we react or don’t react is 100% our choice. It’s not personal unless we choose to make it so.

So what does it mean not to take anything personally? It means you should not let other people's comments, actions, attitudes, opinions or choices affect how you feel about yourself or your life, even if they are a direct and personal attack.

I know that is easier said than done when you are being verbally scolded by someone who thinks you are all sorts of untrue things. But, I can assure you that there is a huge amount of freedom that comes to you when you don’t take it personally.

I'm not perfect by any means, but it's none of my business what someone else thinks of me. That’s on them. Period.

So as you navigate your days, weeks, and months, don’t let the sourness of others derail you from being the person you were meant to be. I know it’s not easy, but nothing worthwhile ever is.

I believe in you!